queer art for the soul

sure beats chicken soup in summertime

Newsletters are a funny thing. Lord knows an inbox could be spared my musing, but beauty also forms a spiritual bulwark against the AI Slop/empty moralizing/bankrupt politics/punishing loneliness/existential dread that otherwise threatens to push our heads beneath the surface. Plus, I guarantee this email will be more interesting than the advertising you’ll now receive forever because you once bought a bird feeder!

This won’t be published on a regular schedule (see above in exercises for inbox-sparing), but I’m going to use it as an intermittent clearinghouse for my writing, things which nourish joy, and a looking glass into liberative politics and theologies. Since I’m writing, it will skew heavy in queerness, naturalistic observation, wee ponderings, and the desire to treat our bodies and emotions as sources of truth.

If that’s not your thing, feel free to unsubscribe! I won’t be offended (much). But if you want to come along for the journey, I promise queeriosities curated with love and care.

feed the spirit

This month, I was honored to be published in the Trans Poetics Archive’s second annual anthology, For Someone You Know. I’ll reprint a poem below, but if you love poetry you should buy the anthology because a) it’s rad to support trans/nb poets in these days b) the book is full of stunning verse.

This poem began as a letter, penned to a planning board chairperson who pulled me aside after a meeting to say, “Listen, I Googled your name, and you need to repent.” He told me about how homosexuality was a sin, how I was a false prophet leading folks to hell, plus a variety of other things that I won’t print here because they’re boring and nothing you haven’t heard before! When I say art is political, I mean that it can form both a shield against what is soul destroying and a window that opens possibilities for a different world. “Returning hate for hate only multiplies hate,” but returning art for hate can maintain sanity when the world tries to drive you mad.

Catechism for a Planning Board

You told me to repent.
My brother, do you think I haven’t
Walked that road already?
all the nights of longing
to be anything but this

Do you imagine I did not look at my body
yearning to knit cells into different patterns?
tight stitched, seersucker prints
seamlessly blending.
did not yearn to replace tangled ends
my young fingers could not weave

Do you believe I did not spend
wild hours awash in tears?
Guzzling gallons
in ill-fated hope
that I would either quench this burning thirst
or drown myself quickly?

I confessed longings
into every echoing chamber
knees rubbed raw
fantasies stretched beneath me
like so many grains of rice
only burrowing deeper

No, my brother in Christ,
who yearns to put me upon your cross
I have already descended
I do not need the scourge you offer
My scars are now for healing
ridgepoles of a fresh roof
maps of land my soul won’t travel

For I have met the One you lie about
drunk from a chalice
you tried to fill with poison
and They said “Spit.”
Said They were the still small voice
that saved me from the lions
told me about Joseph and her technicolor dress
about Ruth pledging life to Naomi
about Jonathan stripping before David
“Take my breastplate, it will guard your peace.”

To repent is to turn back
and every time I stare into that well
The darkness whispers benediction
Crooked lines, radiantly alive
dancing in this moonlight

feed the mind

“When the coup happened, I remember people out on the street celebrating, hanging flags from their windows; it was a festive atmosphere. So here was a deep lesson to be learned: Anti-democratic coups tend to happen with the support of the middle class and large segments of the population.”

In my role as Director of Communications at Garrett Seminary, I have the joy of interviewing the school’s brilliant professors about their work. This month, I spoke with Dr. Nancy Bedford and Dr. Débora Junker—both of whom grew up under South American dictatorships—about what they feel people get wrong about authoritarian regimes, and how they’re thinking about the current political moment.

It was an illuminating interview for me, and I hope you’ll feel the same. Specifically, what chilled my blood was their observation that people often live for years under dictatorships without naming that reality. History books may mark 1976 as the coup that overthrew democracy in Argentina, but that clarity is often reserved for hindsight. Then as now, the unthinkable becomes normalized—doubling the necessity to retain moral clarity.

It’s why I’m quite moved by Dr. Bedford’s observation about the importance of reflection, faith, and contemplation in these days (to which I would add artistic creation). “Prayer and contemplation may sound weak, but they are central to everything that can help us resist in the way of Jesus,” she says. “Contemplative prayer is the exact opposite of what would-be dictators do with their time, energies, and attention. The attention economy wants to distract you; the dominant system wants to scare you. Prayer focuses us—it reminds us that love casts out fear.”

feed the flesh

Those who know me know I love to cook. Living communally with multiple people, I’m always figuring out recipes that can feed a crowd. Dinner parties are also my little way to seed connectedness against an alienating tide. So, I’m going to conclude this newsletter by featuring a recipe, focusing on fresh ingredients and hearty meals that scale up easy.

For me, summertime is a vinegar-based bean and vegetable salad. I love the way the rich beans push against that tangy acidity, a satisfying crunch paired to smoother textures that begs to be eaten outdoors. Plus, cold salads work great for meal prep if you’re short on time! I like to cook dry beans in water with garlic and olive oil for a little extra flavor, but canned beans work great too. Simply rough chop all the ingredients, mix them in a bowl, and add the dressing! Your taste buds (and friends) will thank you.

ingredients

solid:

1 lb dry beans (or 4 cans): I used Rancho Gordo’s Good Mother Stallard beans, but any hearty bean like a kidney or pinto will also work great!
2 stalks celery
1 pint cherry tomatoes, halved
1 can corn, drained
2 bell peppers (I used yellow and orange, for color)
1 red onion
8 cloves of garlic
1 bunch parsley
1 bunch basil

dressing:

3/4 cup apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup molasses
1/8 cup granulated sugar
6 tablespoons olive oil
1.5 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon black pepper
.5 teaspoons smoked paprika